…the slime dripped through the house the big bad smile I could of died of blood everywhere I would of left but I like the house and he have done a lot of fun in the house even the police are right out side the house so the more I stay in here more I will not die so I will stay in here for ever I am 23 year old and I love everything I do and everything I like is fotty rugby ufc  I love all the sports

2 thoughts on “

  1. Ryan,
    I can really see the effort you have put in this week to your 100 word challenge. It seems you have some interesting ideas you want to explore here-a scary story with blood and police-ahhhhhh!
    But I think you need to plan carefully before you write , and then after you write, reread your writing carefully. Remember YOU get to choose all the details, so be careful to include only the most important things.
    Also, it’s so important to break up each idea into sentences that you signal by using full stops and capital letters-there were none in this. That’s where rereading to check is so important!
    I look forward to seeing how you show this in the next few weeks,
    Ant

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